Act 3, Scene 2

Original Text

*A street in Windsor. Enter Mistress Page following Robin.* MISTRESS PAGE. Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels? ROBIN. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him like a dwarf.

Modern English

*A street in Windsor. Mistress Page enters, following Robin.* MISTRESS PAGE. No, no — keep walking ahead, little sir. You used to trail behind everyone, but now you're leading the way. Which would you rather do: guide my eyes forward, or stare at your master's heels? ROBIN. Honestly, I'd much rather walk ahead of you like a proper gentleman than trot behind him like some dwarf.

Original Text

MISTRESS PAGE. O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see you'll be a courtier. *Enter Ford.* FORD. Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you? MISTRESS PAGE. Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

Modern English

MISTRESS PAGE. Oh, you are a shameless flatterer! I can see you'll make a fine courtier one day. *Ford enters.* FORD. Good day, Mistress Page. Where are you off to? MISTRESS PAGE. Just going to visit your wife, sir. Is she home?

Original Text

FORD. Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think if your husbands were dead you two would marry. MISTRESS PAGE. Be sure of that—two other husbands. FORD. Where had you this pretty weathercock?

Modern English

FORD. She is, and as bored as a woman can be without falling apart — no company to speak of. I think if both your husbands were dead, you two would end up marrying each other. MISTRESS PAGE. Count on it — though we'd find two other husbands first. FORD. And where did you pick up this charming little weathervane?

Original Text

MISTRESS PAGE. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What do you call your knight's name, sirrah? ROBIN. Sir John Falstaff. FORD. Sir John Falstaff!

Modern English

MISTRESS PAGE. I can never remember what the devil his name is — my husband arranged it. What's your knight's name, boy? ROBIN. Sir John Falstaff. FORD. Sir John Falstaff!

Original Text

MISTRESS PAGE. He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed? FORD. Indeed she is. MISTRESS PAGE. By your leave, sir, I am sick till I see her. *[Exeunt Mistress Page and Robin.]*

Modern English

MISTRESS PAGE. Yes, yes — I can never quite land on the name. There's such a close friendship between my husband and him! Is your wife really home? FORD. She really is. MISTRESS PAGE. Then excuse me, sir — I won't rest easy until I see her. *[Mistress Page and Robin exit.]*

Original Text

FORD. Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces out his wife's inclination, he gives her folly motion and advantage. And now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And Falstaff's boy with her! Good plots they are laid, and our revolted wives share damnation together.

Modern English

FORD. Has Page got a brain in his head? Has he eyes? Can he think at all? He must be asleep — he's got no use of any of it. Why, that boy could carry a letter twenty miles as easily as a cannonball flies point-blank across a field. He's feeding his wife's appetite, handing her foolishness every opportunity it needs. And now she's heading to my wife — with Falstaff's own boy alongside her. Any man with half a mind could hear this storm coming. Falstaff's boy with her! Oh, the plots are well laid. Our faithless wives are heading to hell together.

Original Text

Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actaeon, and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [*Clock strikes*.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is there. I will go.

Modern English

Right. I'll catch him, then make my wife answer for it, tear away the pretty mask of respectability from the oh-so-proper Mistress Page, and expose Page himself for the blind, willing cuckold he is — and every neighbor of mine will applaud when I do it. [*The clock strikes.*] There's my signal. My gut tells me to go and search — and I will find Falstaff there. I'll be thanked for this, not laughed at, because it is as certain as the ground is solid that Falstaff is in that house. I'm going.

Original Text

*Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius and Rugby.* SHALLOW, PAGE, etc. Well met, Master Ford. FORD. Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home, and I pray you all go with me. SHALLOW. I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

Modern English

*Page, Shallow, Slender, the Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius, and Rugby enter.* SHALLOW, PAGE, and others. Well met, Master Ford. FORD. What a fine company. I've got good food and drink at home — please, all of you, come with me. SHALLOW. I'm afraid I'll have to beg off, Master Ford.

Original Text

SLENDER. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of. SHALLOW. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer. SLENDER. I hope I have your good will, father Page.

Modern English

SLENDER. As must I, sir — we've made plans to dine with Mistress Anne, and I wouldn't break that appointment for any amount of money. SHALLOW. We've been working toward a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender here, and today we expect our answer. SLENDER. I hope you're on my side in this, father Page.

Original Text

PAGE. You have, Master Slender, I stand wholly for you.—But my wife, Master doctor, is for you altogether. CAIUS. Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me! My nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

Modern English

PAGE. You have my full support, Master Slender, I'm entirely with you. — As for my wife, Master Doctor, she's entirely on your side. CAIUS. By God, yes — and de young lady, she loves me! My nurse Quickly, she tell me so herself.

Original Text

HOST. What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May. He will carry 't, he will carry 't. 'Tis in his buttons he will carry 't. PAGE. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having. He kept company with the wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

Modern English

HOST. What about young Master Fenton, eh? The man can leap, he can dance, he's got youth in his eyes, he writes poetry, he talks like a holiday, he smells like springtime. He'll win her, mark my words — he'll win her. It's written all over him. PAGE. Not with my blessing, I assure you. The man has no money. He ran with the wild Prince and Poins — that whole reckless crowd. He moves in circles too high for his purse, and knows too many dangerous people. No — he's not going to tie his fortunes to my daughter's dowry. If he wants her, he can have her penniless. Whatever I'm worth follows my consent, and my consent is not going his way.

Original Text

FORD. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor, you shall go; so shall you, Master Page, and you, Sir Hugh. SHALLOW. Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer wooing at Master Page's. *[Exeunt Shallow and Slender.]*

Modern English

FORD. I beg you all, earnestly — at least some of you come home with me to dinner. Beyond the good food, there'll be entertainment: I'm going to show you a monster. Master Doctor, you're coming; and you, Master Page, and you, Sir Hugh. SHALLOW. Very well, farewell then. We'll have a freer run at courting over at Master Page's. *[Shallow and Slender exit.]*

Original Text

CAIUS. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. *[Exit Rugby.]* HOST. Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. *[Exit Host.]*

Modern English

CAIUS. Go on home, John Rugby — I'll be along shortly. *[Rugby exits.]* HOST. Farewell, gentlemen. I'm off to find my dear honest knight Falstaff and share a glass of canary wine with him. *[The Host exits.]*

Original Text

FORD. [*Aside*.] I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; I'll make him dance.—Will you go, gentles? ALL. Have with you to see this monster. *[Exeunt.]*

Modern English

FORD. [*Aside.*] I expect I'll be drinking with him first — and then I'll make him dance. — Shall we go, gentlemen? ALL. Lead the way — we're coming to see this monster. *[They all exit.]*

The Merry Wives of Windsor

Act 3, Scene 2

Act 3, Scene 2