Act 3, Scene 6

Original Text

SCENE VI. Camp before Florence. Enter Bertram and the two French Lords.

Modern English

SCENE VI. The military camp outside Florence. Bertram enters with the two French Lords.

Original Text

FIRST LORD. Nay, good my lord, put him to't; let him have his way. SECOND LORD. If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no more in your respect. FIRST LORD. On my life, my lord, a bubble.

Modern English

FIRST LORD. No, come on, my lord -- put him to the test; let him try it. SECOND LORD. If your lordship doesn't find him a complete coward, you can stop respecting my judgment entirely. FIRST LORD. On my life, my lord -- he's pure air. Nothing to him.

Original Text

BERTRAM. Do you think I am so far deceived in him?

Modern English

BERTRAM. Do you really think I've been that badly fooled by him?

Original Text

FIRST LORD. Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge, without any malice, but to speak of him as my kinsman, he's a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality worthy your lordship's entertainment.

Modern English

FIRST LORD. Believe me, my lord, I say this from personal knowledge, with no ill will -- setting aside that he's a kinsman of mine -- he's an extraordinary coward, a bottomless and shameless liar, a man who breaks every promise the moment it's made, without a single quality worth your lordship's time.

Original Text

SECOND LORD. It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far in his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some great and trusty business, in a main danger fail you.

Modern English

SECOND LORD. You need to know the truth about him. If you keep trusting in virtues he doesn't have, he could let you down at some critical moment -- when the stakes are highest and you're counting on him most.

Original Text

BERTRAM. I would I knew in what particular action to try him. SECOND LORD. None better than to let him fetch off his drum, which you hear him so confidently undertake to do.

Modern English

BERTRAM. I only wish I knew what specific test I could put him to. SECOND LORD. Nothing better than letting him go recover that drum -- the one you've heard him boast so confidently he can retrieve.

Original Text

FIRST LORD. I with a troop of Florentines will suddenly surprise him; such I will have whom I am sure he knows not from the enemy; we will bind and hoodwink him so that he shall suppose no other but that he is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries when we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship present at his examination; if he do not for the promise of his life, and in the highest compulsion of base fear, offer to betray you, and deliver all the intelligence in his power against you, and that with the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never trust my judgment in anything.

Modern English

FIRST LORD. I'll take a squad of Florentines and ambush him suddenly -- men he won't recognize as our own, not the enemy's. We'll blindfold and bind him so he'll be convinced we've brought him into the enemy camp, when really we'll drag him back to our own tents. Just be present at his interrogation, my lord. If he doesn't -- to save his own skin, driven by pure cowardly terror -- offer to betray you, hand over every piece of intelligence he knows against you, and swear to it on oath with his soul as forfeit, then never trust my judgment about anything again.

Original Text

SECOND LORD. O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum; he says he has a stratagem for't. When your lordship sees the bottom of his success in't, and to what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be melted, if you give him not John Drum's entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed. Here he comes.

Modern English

SECOND LORD. For the love of a good laugh, let him go for his drum -- he claims he has a plan. When your lordship sees how far his success takes him, and what this counterfeit chunk of metal really melts down to, if you don't give him the beating he deserves afterward, nothing will ever change your mind. -- Here he comes now.

Original Text

Enter Parolles. FIRST LORD. O, for the love of laughter, hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetch off his drum in any hand.

Modern English

Parolles enters. FIRST LORD. For the love of laughter -- don't get in the way of his great design. Let him go fetch his drum, by all means.

Original Text

BERTRAM. How now, monsieur! This drum sticks sorely in your disposition. SECOND LORD. A pox on 't; let it go; 'tis but a drum.

Modern English

BERTRAM. Well now, monsieur! That drum seems to be weighing heavily on you. SECOND LORD. Oh, damn the thing -- let it go. It's only a drum.

Original Text

PAROLLES. But a drum! Is't but a drum? A drum so lost! There was excellent command, to charge in with our horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own soldiers.

Modern English

PAROLLES. Only a drum! Is it only a drum? A drum lost like that! What a fine piece of command that was -- charging our own cavalry into our own flanks and cutting down our own men.

Original Text

SECOND LORD. That was not to be blam'd in the command of the service; it was a disaster of war that Caesar himself could not have prevented, if he had been there to command.

Modern English

SECOND LORD. That wasn't a failure of command -- it was a misfortune of war that Caesar himself couldn't have prevented, even if he'd been standing right there giving the orders.

Original Text

BERTRAM. Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success: some dishonour we had in the loss of that drum, but it is not to be recovered. PAROLLES. It might have been recovered. BERTRAM. It might, but it is not now.

Modern English

BERTRAM. Well, we can hardly call the campaign a disaster overall. There was some dishonor in losing the drum, but it can't be recovered now. PAROLLES. It could have been recovered. BERTRAM. It might have been -- but it's too late for that now.

Original Text

PAROLLES. It is to be recovered. But that the merit of service is seldom attributed to the true and exact performer, I would have that drum or another, or _hic jacet_.

Modern English

PAROLLES. It can still be recovered. The trouble is, credit for a soldier's deeds rarely goes to the man who actually did them. But I'd sooner have that drum back -- or another one -- or die trying. Here lies Parolles.

Original Text

BERTRAM. Why, if you have a stomach, to't, monsieur, if you think your mystery in stratagem can bring this instrument of honour again into his native quarter, be magnanimous in the enterprise, and go on; I will grace the attempt for a worthy exploit; if you speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it and extend to you what further becomes his greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your worthiness.

Modern English

BERTRAM. Well then, if you've got the stomach for it, monsieur -- if you believe your gift for strategy can bring that prize back where it belongs, be bold and go for it. I'll honor the attempt as a worthy deed. If you pull it off, the Duke himself will hear of it and reward you with everything your service deserves -- down to the last word of your worth.

Original Text

PAROLLES. By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it. BERTRAM. But you must not now slumber in it.

Modern English

PAROLLES. On a soldier's honor, I'll do it. BERTRAM. But don't sit on it -- you can't afford to lose any time.

Original Text

PAROLLES. I'll about it this evening; and I will presently pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation; and by midnight look to hear further from me.

Modern English

PAROLLES. I'll set about it tonight. I'll write down my plan, steel myself with confidence, make my peace with God and the possibility of death -- and by midnight, expect to hear from me with news.

Original Text

BERTRAM. May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it? PAROLLES. I know not what the success will be, my lord, but the attempt I vow.

Modern English

BERTRAM. May I go ahead and inform his grace that you've undertaken this? PAROLLES. I can't promise the outcome, my lord -- but I vow the attempt.

Original Text

BERTRAM. I know th'art valiant; and to the possibility of thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee. Farewell. PAROLLES. I love not many words. [_Exit._]

Modern English

BERTRAM. I know you're brave. I'll vouch for you to the full extent of what a soldier like you can do. Farewell. PAROLLES. I'm not a man of many words. He exits.

Original Text

FIRST LORD. No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems to undertake this business, which he knows is not to be done; damns himself to do, and dares better be damn'd than to do't.

Modern English

FIRST LORD. No more than a fish loves water. Isn't he a strange creature, my lord? He confidently commits to something he knows perfectly well can't be done -- swears he'll do it, yet would rather be damned than actually follow through.

Original Text

SECOND LORD. You do not know him, my lord, as we do; certain it is that he will steal himself into a man's favour, and for a week escape a great deal of discoveries, but when you find him out, you have him ever after.

Modern English

SECOND LORD. You don't know him the way we do, my lord. He has a talent for worming his way into a man's good graces and holding off discovery for a week or so -- but once you've seen through him, you've got him pegged for life.

Original Text

BERTRAM. Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of this, that so seriously he does address himself unto? FIRST LORD. None in the world; but return with an invention, and clap upon you two or three probable lies; but we have almost embossed him; you shall see his fall tonight; for indeed he is not for your lordship's respect.

Modern English

BERTRAM. But do you really think he won't make any attempt at all, given how earnestly he seems to be going about it? FIRST LORD. Not a single thing. He'll come back with a story -- some two or three plausible lies. But we've nearly run him to ground. You'll see him exposed tonight; he's simply not worthy of your lordship's regard.

Original Text

SECOND LORD. We'll make you some sport with the fox ere we case him. He was first smok'd by the old Lord Lafew; when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this very night. FIRST LORD. I must go look my twigs. He shall be caught.

Modern English

SECOND LORD. We'll give you some sport with the fox before we skin him. It was old Lord Lafew who first sniffed him out. Once his disguise is stripped away, see what a minnow you're left with -- and you'll find that out tonight. FIRST LORD. I need to go set my snares. He will be caught.

Original Text

BERTRAM. Your brother, he shall go along with me. FIRST LORD. As't please your lordship. I'll leave you. [_Exit._]

Modern English

BERTRAM. Your brother will come along with me. FIRST LORD. As your lordship wishes. I'll leave you. He exits.

Original Text

BERTRAM. Now will I lead you to the house, and show you The lass I spoke of. SECOND LORD. But you say she's honest.

Modern English

BERTRAM. Now I'll take you to the house and show you the girl I mentioned. SECOND LORD. But you said she's virtuous.

Original Text

BERTRAM. That's all the fault. I spoke with her but once, And found her wondrous cold, but I sent to her By this same coxcomb that we have i' the wind Tokens and letters which she did re-send, And this is all I have done. She's a fair creature; Will you go see her? SECOND LORD. With all my heart, my lord. [_Exeunt._]

Modern English

BERTRAM. That's the whole problem. I've spoken with her only once -- found her remarkably cold -- but I sent to her through that same fool we've got in our net: tokens and letters, which she sent straight back. That's all I've managed so far. She's a beautiful girl, though. Will you come see her? SECOND LORD. With all my heart, my lord. They exit.

All's Well That Ends Well

Act 3, Scene 6

Act 3, Scene 6