Act 4, Scene 5

Original Text

SCENE V. Rossillon. A room in the Countess's palace. Enter Clown, Countess and Lafew.

Modern English

Scene 5. Rossillon. A room in the Countess's palace. The Clown, the Countess, and Lafew enter.

Original Text

LAFEW. No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbak'd and doughy youth of a nation in his colour. Your daughter-in-law had been alive at this hour, and your son here at home, more advanc'd by the king than by that red-tail'd humble-bee I speak of.

Modern English

LAFEW. No, no, no — your son was led astray by that flashy-dressed fellow, whose ridiculous saffron-yellow style would have turned all the soft, impressionable young men in the country his color. Your daughter-in-law would still be alive right now, and your son would be home, raised higher by the King than by that pompous little bumblebee I'm talking about.

Original Text

COUNTESS. I would I had not known him; it was the death of the most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had praise for creating. If she had partaken of my flesh and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I could not have owed her a more rooted love.

Modern English

COUNTESS. I wish I'd never known him. That man was the death of the most virtuous woman nature ever had cause to be proud of making. If Helena had been my own flesh and blood and cost me the hardest labor of a mother, I couldn't have loved her any more deeply than I did.

Original Text

LAFEW. 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady. We may pick a thousand salads ere we light on such another herb.

Modern English

LAFEW. She was a good lady, she was a good lady. We could search through a thousand gardens before we'd find another like her.

Original Text

CLOWN. Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or, rather, the herb of grace.

Modern English

CLOWN. Indeed, sir — she was the sweet marjoram of the salad. Or better yet, the herb of grace.

Original Text

LAFEW. They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs.

Modern English

LAFEW. Those aren't salad herbs, you rascal — those are herbs you smell, not eat.

Original Text

CLOWN. I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in grass.

Modern English

CLOWN. I'm no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir. I don't know much about grass.

Original Text

LAFEW. Whether dost thou profess thyself,—a knave or a fool?

Modern English

LAFEW. So which do you call yourself — a rascal or a fool?

Original Text

CLOWN. A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's.

Modern English

CLOWN. A fool at a woman's service, sir, and a rascal at a man's.

Original Text

LAFEW. Your distinction?

Modern English

LAFEW. And what's the difference?

Original Text

CLOWN. I would cozen the man of his wife, and do his service.

Modern English

CLOWN. I'd cheat the man out of his wife — and do him that service.

Original Text

LAFEW. So you were a knave at his service indeed.

Modern English

LAFEW. So you'd be a rascal in his service, right enough.

Original Text

CLOWN. And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service.

Modern English

CLOWN. And I'd give his wife my jester's stick, sir, to do her service.

Original Text

LAFEW. I will subscribe for thee; thou art both knave and fool.

Modern English

LAFEW. I'll vouch for you on that — you are both rascal and fool.

Original Text

CLOWN. At your service.

Modern English

CLOWN. At your service.

Original Text

LAFEW. No, no, no.

Modern English

LAFEW. No, no, no.

Original Text

CLOWN. Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a prince as you are.

Modern English

CLOWN. Well, sir, if I can't serve you, I can serve a prince just as great as you are.

Original Text

LAFEW. Who's that? a Frenchman?

Modern English

LAFEW. Who's that? A Frenchman?

Original Text

CLOWN. Faith, sir, 'a has an English name; but his phisnomy is more hotter in France than there.

Modern English

CLOWN. Faith, sir, he has an English name — but his reputation runs a good deal hotter in France than here.

Original Text

LAFEW. What prince is that?

Modern English

LAFEW. And what prince is that?

Original Text

CLOWN. The black prince, sir; alias the prince of darkness; alias the devil.

Modern English

CLOWN. The Black Prince, sir. Also known as the Prince of Darkness. Also known as the devil.

Original Text

LAFEW. Hold thee, there's my purse. I give thee not this to suggest thee from thy master thou talk'st of; serve him still.

Modern English

LAFEW. Here, take my purse. I'm not giving you this to tempt you away from the master you're talking about — go right ahead and keep serving him.

Original Text

CLOWN. I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a great fire, and the master I speak of ever keeps a good fire. But sure he is the prince of the world; let his nobility remain in's court. I am for the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be too little for pomp to enter: some that humble themselves may, but the many will be too chill and tender, and they'll be for the flow'ry way that leads to the broad gate and the great fire.

Modern English

CLOWN. I'm a woods-and-country sort of fellow, sir, always fond of a roaring fire, and the master I speak of keeps the best fire there is. But truly, he is the prince of this world — let him keep his fine court to himself. I'm headed for the house with the narrow gate, which is too small, I think, for pride to squeeze through. A few who humble themselves may manage it — but most people are too soft for that, and they'll take the flowery road to the wide gate and the great fire.

Original Text

LAFEW. Go thy ways, I begin to be a-weary of thee; and I tell thee so before, because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy ways; let my horses be well look'd to, without any tricks.

Modern English

LAFEW. Off with you — I'm starting to tire of you, and I'm telling you now so we don't end up quarreling. Off with you. And make sure my horses are looked after properly, without any funny business.

Original Text

CLOWN. If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be jades' tricks, which are their own right by the law of nature. [_Exit._]

Modern English

CLOWN. If I play any tricks on them, sir, they'll be old nags' tricks — which are theirs by the law of nature. The Clown exits.

Original Text

LAFEW. A shrewd knave, and an unhappy.

Modern English

LAFEW. A sharp rascal, and a miserable one.

Original Text

COUNTESS. So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much sport out of him; by his authority he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and indeed he has no pace, but runs where he will.

Modern English

COUNTESS. He is that. My late husband got a great deal of entertainment out of him. By Bertram's authority he's stayed on here, which he treats as a license for his cheek — and truly, he has no sense of limits; he just runs wherever he pleases.

Original Text

LAFEW. I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about to tell you, since I heard of the good lady's death, and that my lord your son was upon his return home, I moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of my daughter; which, in the minority of them both, his majesty out of a self-gracious remembrance did first propose. His highness hath promis'd me to do it; and, to stop up the displeasure he hath conceived against your son, there is no fitter matter. How does your ladyship like it?

Modern English

LAFEW. I like him well enough — he's harmless. But I was about to tell you: since I heard of poor Helena's death, and learned that your son was on his way home, I went to the King and asked him to speak up for my daughter. The match was actually the King's own idea when they were both children — he remembered it out of his own good heart. His Highness has promised to raise the matter with Bertram; and there's no better way to smooth over the displeasure he feels toward your son. What does your ladyship think of it?

Original Text

COUNTESS. With very much content, my lord, and I wish it happily effected.

Modern English

COUNTESS. Very well indeed, my lord — I hope with all my heart it comes to pass.

Original Text

LAFEW. His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able body as when he number'd thirty; he will be here tomorrow, or I am deceived by him that in such intelligence hath seldom fail'd.

Modern English

LAFEW. His Highness is riding hard from Marseilles, as vigorous as a man of thirty. He'll be here tomorrow — or the man whose news has rarely been wrong has deceived me this time.

Original Text

COUNTESS. It rejoices me that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I have letters that my son will be here tonight. I shall beseech your lordship to remain with me till they meet together.

Modern English

COUNTESS. It does my heart good to think I may see him before I die. I have word that my son arrives tonight. I'll beg your lordship to stay with me until they've had a chance to meet.

Original Text

LAFEW. Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might safely be admitted.

Modern English

LAFEW. Madam, I was just wondering what claim of good manners would allow me to stay on decently.

Original Text

COUNTESS. You need but plead your honourable privilege.

Modern English

COUNTESS. You need only plead the privilege your honor earns you.

Original Text

LAFEW. Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but, I thank my God, it holds yet.

Modern English

LAFEW. My lady, I have leaned on that privilege pretty boldly — but thank God, it still holds.

Original Text

Enter Clown. CLOWN. O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch of velvet on's face; whether there be a scar under't or no, the velvet knows; but 'tis a goodly patch of velvet. His left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a half, but his right cheek is worn bare.

Modern English

The Clown re-enters. CLOWN. Oh, madam — your son is out there with a velvet patch on his face. Whether there's a scar underneath it or not, only the velvet knows — but it's a fine piece of velvet, I'll say that. His left cheek is rich as double-pile velvet, but his right cheek is worn smooth as a bare patch.

Original Text

LAFEW. A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.

Modern English

LAFEW. A scar honorably earned — or an honorable scar — is a fine badge of glory. And I'd wager that one is too.

Original Text

CLOWN. But it is your carbonado'd face.

Modern English

CLOWN. Still, it's a face that's been scored like a piece of meat for the grill.

Original Text

LAFEW. Let us go see your son, I pray you. I long to talk with the young noble soldier.

Modern English

LAFEW. Come, let's go see your son, I beg you. I'm eager to speak with the young soldier.

Original Text

CLOWN. Faith, there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate fine hats, and most courteous feathers, which bow the head and nod at every man. [_Exeunt._]

Modern English

CLOWN. Faith, there's a whole dozen of them out there, with lovely fine hats and the most obliging feathers — they bow and nod at every man they pass. They all exit.

All's Well That Ends Well

Act 4, Scene 5

Act 4, Scene 5